We all feel a bit lost sometimes.
We wake up early, run through our coffee routine (it smells as good as always), make breakfast (the egg yolk perfectly melts over crispy bacon and toast), and head to work—on time. In eight hours, we accomplish a million things. We nail it. We even have a great lunch break, spending some quality time with friends. The business is steady, not too slow, but we're not overwhelmed either. And yet, we don’t catch ourselves daydreaming about winning the lottery or fantasizing about escaping the mundane grind of our daily duties. No complaints, no cursing, not even once today. Compared to all the other days, everything seems fine—even great. So why does it still feel like something's off?
Is it that we don't count our blessings enough? It feels as if we're terrible people, blinded by desire, unable to take a moment to be flooded with gratitude and thankfulness. Is that really the case?
If you were to follow the Stoics—ancient philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius—you would say, during these moments of feeling lost, when nothing seems visibly wrong, we have to find contentment in the present moment, regardless of external circumstances. In plan language, it’s all about appreciating the present. People can’t change everything around them; the only thing they can change is their own mindset.
It’s not reality that shape our lives; rather, it’s the lens through which our minds perceive the world that creates our reality. It’s a bit like a tongue twister.
Basically, you have an above-average day today—let’s call that the “fact”, but unlike the facts historians put into books, we are the historians of our own life stories. We chew over these “facts”, and in our minds, we generate ideas and feelings. So, technically, the feelings in your mind-how you feel about these “facts”—are only loosely connected. Think of it this way: if someone else were to live your today with their mind, there’s almost a 100% chance they would come up with different “ideas and feelings” stemming from the same events).
Especially when you proceed and dive deeper, tossing and turning in bed at night, you then think, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? I know everything is fine, but I can’t lie to myself—I don’t feel like really happy or fulfilled. Damn, how am I supposed to wrap my head around this? My mom’s right; I always overthink.”
In these moments, you hit yourself hard. You transform your feelings into a conundrum no one can solve on this planet. By thinking this way, you create a mental loop that locks you in.
How do we unlock it, breaking free from the loop?
It begins with a simple act of awareness. Right now, at this right moment, you, my dear readers, are doing just that—so thing are looking really promising. Acknowledge that these thoughts are just “thoughts”. They don’t define us. They don’t have to be like “that”.
(Think creatively! Snow White doesn’t have to be rescued by Prince Charming, for example. She could have remained in her enchanted slumber forever, may she rest in peace. Or she could have found her own way to awaken, discovering her strength and resilience. The possibilities are endless; we just need to be flexible and recognize our own capabilities in shaping them.)
These thoughts are merely reflections of our current state. The key word here is “current.” Yes, you feel something’s off, but that just how you feel for “now”. Emotions are transient; they come and go like the tide.
To move forward, we can start by challenging the narratives we tell ourselves. Instead of succumbing to negativity, we can reframe our thoughts, asking ourselves, “What else could this mean?” or “How can I approach this differently?” This shift in perspective can illuminate new paths, ones we have never considered before.
Also, you are never alone in this mental loop challenge that we throw to ourselves.
Share your thoughts with someone you trust; you’d be surprised how many others feel the same way. There’s immense relief in realizing we’re not alone in this journey. In recent years, I’ve discovered that engaging in conversations with others can be incredibly helpful. Sharing our feelings not only lightens our emotional load but also offers refreshing perspectives. When we realize we’re not alone in our struggles, that connection can be incredibly liberating, reminding us that we’re part of a larger human experience.
Finally, remember that it’s okay to seek help when needed. Whether through friends, family, or professionals, reaching out can provide the support we need to navigate our thoughts and emotions. Unlocking ourselves from this loop requires a blend of self-awareness, gratitude, connection, and an openness to change. It’s about reclaiming our narrative and rewriting it in a way that serves us for a better future.
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